- Lee Trevino. Fantasy Basketball Armchair Perpetual Trophy. "The difference between golf and government is that in golf, you can't improve your lie.". defend herself. 2. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. 4. Suddenly the sky begins to darken and a million ducks envelop the golfers. Rule with an iron first. Harvey Penick "The woods are full of long drivers." 37. What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Golf is a game, invented by God to punish guys who retire early. (Input your H.S. 3. "My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects." —Les Dawson. Four golfers went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. 5 out of 5 stars. - Phyllis Diller. 9 of 50. Rule with an iron first. "Hey," yells to disappointed golfer. 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. The only time I'll let go of your hand is to grab your ass.". Babe Didrikson Zaharias The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Double Bogie: 'Casablanca' followed by 'African Queen'. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. Chip: Time to get our nails done again. Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy. Mar 13, 2021 - Explore Procella Umbrella's board "Funny Golf Memes", followed by 279 people on Pinterest. Tiger Woods wanna-be. "Except me mammy, of course!" "Well then," says Seamus. 23. 78.39 % / 515 votes. "A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it." -Davis Love Jr. "Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.". Jack Burke For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. One man says to the others: "Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. I think about you a little more than I should. Real golfers have two handicaps: one for braggin' and one for betting'. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?". Drumstick. The Funeral Procession. Then there's the Scotsman who gave up golf after 20 years. Baby says this to Johnny after he breaks a window in his car to open it since he left his keys in there. You need to adjust your grip. - Tiger Woods. After 18 holes I can barely walk. What's the best waterslide for kids? 8. Jesus takes out his 5-iron and says, "I'm going to hit a 5-iron because Arnold Palmer would hit a 5-iron from here.". You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. GOLF JOKE 7. Not all men are created eagle. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] 56 Golf Pick Up Lines Many golfing terms sound naughty. Shut up and drive. "Happiness is a long walk with a putter" — Greg Norman 38. So the friend asks the genie for, "a million bucks.". Funny Golf Meme Who Say Golfer's Aren't Athletes Picture. Not even God can hit a 1-iron." The Eraser… 5. Strike while the iron is hot. Moses tees off with a 3-wood and hits the green. Queen of the Green. Tee'd Off / Teeing Off / Now for the Tee-Off. Funny Golf One Liners 2022. It bends a little to the left. Look at the size of his putter. Get it as soon as Fri, May 6. Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. Long Golf Joke. Another Ball in the Trees. It is the quickest event in sports, except for Sumo-wrestling & Mike Tyson fights. $22.85. Dirty, funny and sexy images to make you chuckle. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute. 2. Done! After 18 holes I can barely walk. 3. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Get in the hole! Just tap it in. 6. "Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. 3. However, when the straight-laced Jason is tricked into driving his foul-mouthed grandfather, Dick, to Daytona The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. 9. Damn, my shaft's all bent. Mark Twain "Golf is a good walk spoiled" 39. Bob Lewis. "Hockey is a sport for white men. Funny Golf Meme Tee The Ball Lower They Said Image. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. Our balls are lost School is for students who can't play golf Chicks with sticks Golfers have longer shafts Silly boys, Golf is for Girls Prayers never are answered on golf course Caddy: 2 women talking about a 3rd, who isn't there to. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. 5. "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. Sunday Service "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." —brockoli117 on Reddit.com Check out these hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to make you smile. Featured 01/13/2016 in Funny. Funny Golf Meme The Part Of The Game Photo. Try choking donw on the shaft. If you drink, don't drive. The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. Helpful Not Helpful. We have a threesome, care to join us? Joke has 85.85 % from 2026 votes. After 18 holes I can barely walk. I enjoy shooting in the 120's. 4. By magjarvis. The man who takes up golf to get his mind off . "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." —Robert A. Heinlein. Have a good round—may the fours be with you. Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small town bar. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. Bye Bye Birdie. 18 Funny Golf Quotes — One Laugh for Every Hole! It took one afternoon on the golf course." — Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. She brought 10 pairs of shoes except the coral ones. My shaft is bent. Stay humble and put your eagle aside. use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our visitor agreement (updated 1/1/20), privacy and cookies notice (updated 1/1/20) and california privacy notice . Nuts! He said, "it looks good sir, but I'm more of a fan of golf, myself." Bye Bye Birdie. Mini Golf Captions. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. Payne Stewart And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can't dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up. "I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either" - Arnold Palmer. We carry joke awards for both businesses and sports. One day a funeral procession drives by the course. 2. Sam Snead "Of all the hazards, fear is the worst." 40. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. "If you worry about making bogeys, it makes the game that much more difficult. "I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's game: it's called an eraser." — Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently. — Tommy Bolt. Dirty Grandpa Quotes Total quotes: 5 Show Metadata Hide Metadata. Confucius say: He who eats too many prunes, sits on . 22. 4. 27 Absolutely Hilarious and Dirty Pictures. Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose. Don't even putt. Golf Bachelor Party Favor Can Coolers in Bulk - Custom Golf Can Cooler Set - Groomsmen Gifts - Golf Trip Beer Can Sleeves. On the Green In Two. Click me to show the form! If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. Dirty Talk Text Messages for Her (Dirty Talking to Your Girlfriend Quotes): "I am not going anywhere. Sure, but only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure. What rhymes with kick? Funny Golf Meme The Wife Love This Image. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. Add to Favorites . Best golf jokes: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. I will sit on the Iron Throne. You drive me crazy. 7. "I'm the best. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. 1. "The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two." 41. "I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.". When they got into the car, the mother said, "Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your panties." "Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. Rally your golf team, inspire your fans, and liven up the crowd! Mini Golf Captions. — William Wordsworth. Dirty Grandpa Jason Kelly is one week away from marrying his boss's uber-controlling daughter, putting him on the fast track for a partnership at the law firm. 3. The pro asked: "Did you guys have a good game today?" The first golfer said: "Yes, I had three riders today." 0. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be . Fairway: Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch. 24/24. Select from the best slogans for shirts, banners, posters, t-shirts, jerseys, signs, warm-ups, locker room, and more. Golf Quotes. You know you're a hack when your divot flies farther than your ball! 5 out of 5 stars (343) $ 6.59. Shanker Golf Balls - Rude Trick Balls with Funny Sayings (6 Ball Gift Pack, Novelty Gag, Playing Quality) - Hero Edition - The #1 Ball for Shite Golfers. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? A golfer was having a terrible round — 20-over par for the front nine with scores of balls lost in water or rough. He lost his ball. "A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it." -Davis Love Jr. "Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.". One of the other men asks what's got into him. You drive me crazy. One liner tags: age, communication, dirty, women, work. -Happy Gilmore. Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Top Golf Captions For Instagram. Caddyshack Rules Sign Poster. JoyandChaos. JmStorm. "I should have brought the coral shoes." Lisa. $19.99 $ 19. Big pupils lead to big scores. "I would rather cuddle then have sex. Choose from toilets, bobble heads, horse's rears, golden plungers, and much . He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Votes: 4. Keep your head down. Golf slogans, golf phrases, and golf sayings can unite, inspire and motivate. Golf Quotes Inspirational Funny Golf Quotes For Women Funny Life Quotes Love Golf Quotes Quotes About Golf Famous Golf Quotes Quotes And Sayings About Golfers Influence Quotes And Sayings Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes. Harry Vardon The average golfer doesn't play golf. I stepped on a rake.". If he makes his 10-foot putt, he wins $200. It will lead you to your dream." -James Ross 4. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it." —Unknown. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. And when you done laughing at these, check out the constant influx of funny pictures that we get uploaded to our site all day long. 1 /24. Man: "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass." A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. He attacks it. Jesus and Moses are playing golf in Heaven when they come to the par-3 17th hole, a long carry over water to an island green. My shaft is bent. FREE Shipping on orders over $25 shipped by Amazon. Save more with Subscribe & Save. Peter Dobereiner If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot. He looks at the frog and . I will sit on the Iron Throne. Will and Guy'sHelpful Guide to Female Golfing Terms. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron.". "My wife said I play so much golf it's driving a wedge between us." "I came home to my wife in lingerie… she said I could tie her up and do whatever I wanted. name here) Ladies Golf… The FORCE is strong with us! I just haven't played yet.". Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? Lisa says this to her mom in the car. Nuts! 1. 4.7 out of 5 stars 159. Thank your lucky stars. Stay humble and put your eagle aside. If you want to disable cookies for your browser, just click here to change that. classic movie, caddy, golf, humor, funny, dirty, cult classic, bill murray, chevy chase, retro, bar sign, man cave. 6. Golfing Quotes "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture." -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf." -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. 7. - George Deukmejian. -Happy Gilmore. Funny Golf Meme Who Gets Hurt Playing Golf Image. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. - Henry Youngman. Green there, done that. Mar 14, 2021 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. - Jack Nicklaus. You can never start too young! I have to admit I was cracking myself up a bit when I made these files. 24. "That teabag was actually better the . There are four files to make something for all your golf buddies and even your golf caddie! "I always said you have to be really smart or really dumb to play this game well. Your throat. So I tied her to the chair and went to the driving range." I asked my caddie what he thought of my game. Here's our huge collection of golfing slogans, phrases, sayings, mottos, and quotes. 9- Iron". Votes: 4. 8. "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.". From shop JoyandChaos. Dave Barry If you drink, don't drive. You put more pressure on yourself without even noticing it. Quotes. - Jack Nicklaus. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron.". I just don't know where I fit in." — Beth Daniel 37. "I have never seen you show anybody any respect.". "You've got to be the worst caddie in the world!" he yelled. How many strokes was that? Bestseller. Four golfers who like to gamble wind up in the same foursome. 99. "Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot." — Dave Marr 36. 3. It's just that you're always fucking sexy. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. Hockey is a sport for white men. More jokes about: golf, husband, marriage, sport, wife. Ad by JoyandChaos Ad from shop JoyandChaos. Basketball is a sport for black men. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, golf quotes. The genie replied, hops back into the golf bag and leaves the golfers standing there waiting for the "million bucks.". Mind if I join your threesome? Golf svgs bundle, love golf, golf t-shirt quotes, 10 golf cut files, funny golf quotes, golf lovers svgs, silhouette cut file, svg,dxf, png Ad by 1VisionDrive Ad from shop 1VisionDrive 1VisionDrive From shop 1VisionDrive. Funny Golf Meme It Takes A Lot Of Balls To Golf The Way I Do Picture. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.". (Input your H.S. View Quote | Add a comment. Chip Shot. Funny Golf Stories: Apart from golf jokes, here are some of the wonderful and funny golf stories for you. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. Add to Favorites. Green there, done that. We print the highest quality dirty laundry quote t-shirts on the internet. "Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.". Just tap it in. 1. The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. - Lee Trevino. I am Iron Man. - Muhammad Ali when asked about his golf game. Sam Snead Don't play too much golf. 23. Fear shows up when there is an enlargement of the pupils. The best thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it is only two minutes long. 20. "I doubt it," replied the caddie, dead-pan. Here you will find top ten Funny Sex Quotes and Sayings selected by our team. name here) Ladies Golf… Give me Golf or give me Death! Lee Trevino. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." It's not that I'm horny all the time. 5. Tiger Woods "No matter how good you get, you can always get better — and that's the exciting part." 38. 3. Spread your legs a little more. . In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Dirty Golf Sayings 1. Hold up. 1) He lived at home until he was 30. Confucius say: Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers! (9,787) $3.50. "I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either" - Arnold Palmer. One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, money, women. Show some respect.". Discover and share Dirty Quotes For Women Golfers. "Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?". Cookies are currently enabled to maximize your TeePublic experience. Another Ball in the Trees. Love It 1. It makes a difference to take it easy when things aren't going right." -Sergio Garcia 6. Confucius say: Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. "If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Quotes tagged as "gold" Showing 1-30 of 356. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Golfer: It's my lucky ball. "Golf is a puzzle without an answer. Maybe Drag-racing is quicker, but I have never been attracted to it. 2. On the Green In Two. 34. Tony Duffy/Getty Images. The pot builds throughout the day until they reach the 18th green, where Charlie has a chance to putt for dough. 9. share joke. Two rounds a day are plenty. Chip Shot. 4. I'm pretty good with my short putts. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.". Not all men are created eagle. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Dirty Golf Sayings. Just turn your back and drop it. A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. I am Iron Man. Lift your head and spread your legs. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Shut up and drive. — Dean Martin. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.". Confucius say: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. "Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot." —Dave Marr "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." —Jack Lemmon "It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." —Mark Twain "Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at." —Dave Hill 5. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. "Go back to your playpen, Baby." Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. World's Okayest Golfer. Kiss My Putt. Funny Family Joke - 9. 7. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. Stand with your back turned and drop it. Shop dirty laundry quote t-shirts created by independent artists from around the globe. These trophies are perfect for anyone with a sense of humor and sure to bring a smile to the recipient's face. Strike while the iron is hot. 18 Holes Luck? 8. Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. Shop affordable wall art to hang in dorms, bedrooms, offices, or anywhere blank walls aren't welcome. The bundle includes these four funny golf files: Let's Par Tee. Just ask my ex -wives. A Lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood. Basketball is a sport for black men. Unique Golf Quotes Posters designed and sold by artists. They are on their way to practice lifts. 6. 78.47 % / 451 votes. TrophyPartner.com is your source for funny gag trophies. Phyllis Diller Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting. - Al Boliska.
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